always up late packing...will baby ever learn?

every time i go away i end up staying awake into the wee hours of the morning packing...SUCH a bad habit!  the 4th of july weekend is here and a friend (definitely a sugarbaby but doesnt want to admit it lol) is flying me out with her on vacay...well actually her beau is flying us out.  air, hotel, transportation and all our entertainment expenses (it's a HUGE music concert weekend so i dont even want to think about the cost of some of these performance tickets he arranged for us). 

i'm truly touched that she chose me to share her sugar...i'll keep you posted on our adventures but right now i need to go back to rolling these clothes up tight so i can make room for more shoes :)


probability of a carryon rollerbag vs. a big suitcase looks bleak right now
LOL!

Broadway Daddy...

On Sunday I attended the Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall and it was lovely...makeup, hair, gown, clutch and car service courtesy of Broadway Daddy.

i have been seeing Broadway Daddy for a few months now and deal with him alittle differently than I am accustomed to.  Typically i am much more of a "show me the money" baby.  Not because i am money-hungry and don't care for my daddy but just because I am a practical baby.  I have been working and earning a very good living for quite a while now.  i earn enough that what I consider to be my financial needs are probably a tad different then most sugarbabes.  "Gift-Daddies" and "Travel-Daddies" generally don't even register on my radar.  For the most part I have found that kind of arrangement for me to be pretty useless I much rather the cash. thank you very much

I can easily buy my own gifts, I already travel extensively, in fact I am a platinum or higher elite traveler on a number of airlines, I have a solid collection of high end bags (Vuitton, Chanel, Balenciaga), shoes (Giuseppe Zanotti, Louboutin, Manolo Blahnik), and a jewelry collection with a VERY IMPRESSIVE appraisal value--particularly my collection of men's and vintage watches (Rolex, Brietling, Hermes, Chanel).  The overwhelming majority of these items were purchased by me with my own money.  They are luxuries...nice to have, pretty to look at but receiving them gets me no closer to my real goals in life.  Getting these items on my own is not a hardship for me and I'm a difficult cookie so shopping for me and getting me a gift that i'm really excited about is HARD...

I never really see eye-to-eye with "Travel-Daddies" because I find that generally they expect you to be happy to be along for the ride with little regard for any additional compensation for your time outside of throwing you a few chits for shopping.  Meanwhile you are expected to take time out of your schedule, pack up your little sugarcase or rollie bag and be at their beck and call throughout the trip.  Unfortunately, first class air and luxury hotel stays don't impress me and aren't nearly enough for me to really feel like you are making it worth my while so I don't even consider these offers.  i have a real job and real obligations outside of SUGAR so i simply dont have the time to jetset without some reasonable quid pro quo for my time.  I would rather a strictly monetary arrangement to help me offset my expenses, save up for a rainy day and continue to pay for school in cash the way i have been managing to do for the last year.

i say all this as a preface to telling you about my relationship with Broadway Daddy.  i found his sweet refined ass on craigslist of all places lol!  i answered his ad looking for a female companion to join him for a private VIP showing of the Broadway Play Revival of Fences at the Cort Theatre on West 48th.  I had been dying to find time to see the show for weeks with delicious Denzel Washington and the genius of Oscar-nominated Viola Davis in starring roles. There was no real mention of sugar but i thought it would be fun as a one-time thing because i really wanted to see this particular play, was free that evening and I found the tone of his ad endearing.  i found it amusing that he indicated he was a white upperclass Brit but he specifically requested an african-american woman...
I am not african-american but I am brown and i am beautiful and I was pretty sure that is what he was looking for and i was right.  :)

I figured maybe he wanted a black date because he thought a black female would fully appreciate the black themes that run throughout most August Wilson plays (I remember reading his plays in college) but he assured me that no that just happened to be a coincidence that this is the play he selected.  He in fact is almost exclusively attracted to women of color, always had been since he was a young boy in London.  I sent one photo, he said he found me beautiful.  He sent 3 or 4 pictures and i thought him cute but he seemed VERY anxious about my response as if he expected me to think him unattractive (which he certainly is not).  his exact words were "here all the recent photos of me...so there can be no dashed expectations" lol.

he also has concerns about whether I would think him too old for me (late 40s), which is actually skewing pretty young for the daddies i have been meeting lately so again NOT a problem for me. 
So we met and had a dandy time...

In his ad he was looking for dinner and a broadway show maybe more...obviously with no sugar I was not even considering the "maybe more..." part but it really has never come up.  So far we have seen Fences, Memphis, a Little Night Music with Catherine Zeta Jones and the legendary Angela Lansbury, as well as Fela.  i know right?!?  what a lucky find!   we were supposed to see a Behanding in Spokane but never got around to it.  He is a Tony voter so he HAS TO see every single broadway show...isn't that amazing and I get to tag along and sit in his great seats.  We usually meet for a quick dinner beforehand at a nice restaurant in the theatre district which all happens to be just steps from my office workplace so i can just throw on some higher pumps, re-gloss my lips, grab a smaller bag and go downstairs to meet him afterwork.  We've been to Bond 45, Bobby Van's, Sushi of Gari on 46, and Sardi's.  Thank God that he's partial to a good steak so I can easily keep away from eating carbs otherwise I would be a round little butterball rolling down broadway with all that good eating. lol

Anyway, we chit chat easily enough during dinner, he tells the greatest stories about his crazy days growing up overseas and the funny people he's known in the theatre and places he's seen.  he's a gentleman, polite and every story is just funnier and cuter when it's told in his adorable english accent.  We spend alot of time talking about what we liked, disliked or LOVED about the last show we saw.  airy topics certainly nothing heavy, we watch the show and right after he pops me in a waiting car outside the theatre (paid for by his company i gather).  no lingering, no feeling me up just a quick peck on the lips or on my forehead as he helps me in the car with a promise to call and set something up next week or so and i'm off to my townhouse alone.  Not that I'm complaining I mean sex with him would be no hardship but I dont exactly feel like ripping my panties off when he's around either
...with him it's all very 'neutral'--I would say i'm "fond" of him and dont get me wrong i'm a fan of "fond" but it doesnt make me feel strongly one way or the other about being physical with him.

at first i found it alittle odd that he never put the moves on me...he's not a shy man, but as time has gone by i have stopped reading into it.  I  know he's attracted to me and that he continues to enjoy my company and the fact that i'm not being financially compensated make it go down easier

even last week when he offered to provide my wardrobe for the tony awards he sent me to saks on fifth avenue and 50th for everything but i saw no cash.  i just showed up on friday and everything was prearranged with a shopper there.  i tried on and picked out a dress and shoes, got my hair blown out and set up a makeup appointment for sunday afternoon and never saw a bill or signed a receipt.  Broadway Daddy took care of everything.  even when the louis vuitton boutique on the first floor of Saks didnt have the clutch i wanted the shop girl made a call and came back to tell me that Broadway Daddy gave her permission to call ahead with payment so that I could walk down to the Vuitton flagship on 58th and pick up the clutch there.  it was all very sweet and well thought out. 

now i have known of some men that have no problem being extremely generous but they just do not like handing over a wad of cash and feeling like they a john or like are paying for the company a callgirl. 

I confess that I usually do not have the patience to deal with that kind of guy. 

I would much rather be straight forward and upfront.  i like to SEE my money and do with it as i please.  i need the help, you would like to enjoy my company, I rather know what to expect, settle it right upfront and then never speak of it again when we are together.  then i can just expect the same monthly and stop worrying about it and relax.  otherwise I would find myself worrying about whether you fully understand what my needs are and will take care of them or whether you are just going to try and get over on me then toss some token gesture my way.  I don't deal well with any situations that are left vague.  I deal in definites.  Definites are what I deal with at work and it's how i am comfortable dealing in the sugar world as well.

So dealing with Broadway Daddy has been refreshing.  i see him when I can fit him in and it's all very low pressure.  Even though going to all the new shows and nice dinners are perks, I normally I would have expected anyone else to offer those things PLUS alittle something for my piggie bank but i find myself not minding the absence of cash with him.  he is so easy-going and makes absolutely no demands on me.  I love watching broadway plays and could never find someone to go with so every year i ended up missing shows i really wanted to see because i cant imagine going to a play alone.  The little shopping generosity he extended for the tony awards added to my goodwill towards him and probably bought him at least another 6 months until i ponder our little siituation again so it's all good

Here is the Sue Wong feather gown I wore to the award show.  I'm not sure what his final bill for Saks was including the Salon salon visit but I'm pretty sure at least the dress may have been on sale at the time so I was mindful not to totally scare him away with the total

the CFO

Ok so there is a fairly new SD I’ve been seeing recently who oversees accounting and all company-wide financial reporting for a well known mid-size corporation here in town. He lives fairly close in a suburban enclave. I’ll call the CFO.

So we met, clicked just fine and eventually after a few dinner dates were intimate. Nothing crazy, no hanging from the chandeliers since he’s an older gentleman but nice enough and pleasant all around. To date it is the only time we have been physical. Most of the time when we are together is spent talking…it seems he’s stuck at a job he positively hates. he talks about it all the time. I don't mind, that's my purpose to help him blow off steam. He’s senior management and was wooed there from another company for more money about 2 years ago. Once he arrived at his current company he realized not only did he absolutely hate his new job but his coworkers as well. He wants to just jump ship and leave but in this recession he understands its not the best time for “change.” So there is alot of frustration and anxiety for him lately that’s he’s never experienced in his work career before. We often talk about this at length, I’m a great sounding board and I think he was surprised that I proved to be a good confidante and actually had relevant feedback to contribute regarding his situation.

So all and all I was comfortable with the gradual progression of things and it had looked like the beginnings of a good arrangement. Immediately after we meet he always sends a long flowery email gushing and praising the great time he had, how pleased he is that we have taken the steps we have and overall pleased with our future prospects. Ok…good! I usually respond with a positive message indicating that I also had a nice time, feel comfortable and look forward to proceeding. All is well. So last week I assume we will be meeting again as we regularly have on Fridays. He says he can’t make it …I’m alittle confused and gently remind him that my intent was a consistent arrangement perhaps I misunderstood. He emails me back saying that his intent was always once or twice a month and if I’m adamant about more frequency he just can’t do it. I email him back and say I get that but just let me know what works for you and we’ll go from there. Trying to keep it light because honestly, I’m fine with this. My email regarding the “consistency” of our arrangement was more so because I just want to make sure we’re clear that whether he sees me once a month, more often or not at all that our arrangement still stands and I need to see my allowance in full. Not a discounted allowance or forgotten all together regardless of what his schedule or availability is like that month. I think he read it more as I’m super-pressed to see him all the time, or I need his body bad or something like I’m more attached and high maintenance than I really am. Now I know the tone in emails does not always translate and I have been accused of coming across cold or snippy in the past because I prefer things VERY CLEAR and spelled out so noone had any misunderstanding about what we are doing or dashed expectations. However, after my email the CFO then calls me while I’m busy with work so I ignore and figure I will call him back later, then he emails, emails again, emails yet again, sends a text message, then calls again gets no answer then texts me again. Something in my message has sent him into a tailspin, he wants to make sure i will continue to see him, that he doesn’t want to even think of not seeing me anymore and he MUST talk to me before 7pm …wtf? My message really wasn’t all that serious.

So finally around 6pm, I send him a text saying I’m on my way home and I’ll call him in 10 minutes which turns into 30 but when I dial his number it isn’t going through. I assume he’s headed home and turned his cell phone off lest I return his call at an inopportune moment but I don’t want to seem like a flake that never called him back so I send him a text as well. He immediately calls me back. Then commences the longest conversation I EVER had in MY LIFE.

So our initial arrangement was already VERY modest by SB standards…a very basic amount per month but enough to serve its purpose and be useful to me. Once CFO has me on the line he launches into this diatribe about his work situation and how he is not entirely sure where he stands there--he may just leave if it become insuffereable, he may take something that potentially pays less, he might even get laid off if the company continues to lose money. He details to me how he’s been forced to cut back recently on many things, how their lives’ expenses have slowly over the years become bigger than their income and he want to make sure that I am being “sensitive” to all of this, etc. etc. etc.

And I’m wondering to myself –“Why are you telling me all this?”
I mean not that I don’t care or that he can’t discuss what is on his mind with me but why are you telling me this NOW? what am i supposed to do with that information? Especially since I am aware of your issues and have already graciously given you an out. He kept repeating that he wanted to keep seeing me, he wanted this to work out, this is what he has always been looking for…
Which all sounds good and well to me until a situation should arise and there comes a month when my allowance isn’t in my account and then I am caught in the uncomfortable position of explaining to him that Sugarbaby Sweetheart can’t just live on “gosh you’re really swell...”

The thing is he wasn’t DIRECTLY saying that possible changes in his financial situation were going to affect ME in any way. He just kept going on and on and on and I couldn’t tell where he was going with this…

Are you saying you can’t afford to see me anymore?
You don’t want an arrangement and want to see someone else more casually?
Are you trying to renegotiate our arrangement?

WHAT!?! What are you trying to say??

The point seemed to never arrive and I was starting to get antsy…I kept trying to interject saying “well I understand you have a lot of changes going on right now. You know where I stand, so why don’t YOU take a little time to think things over and get back to me” or “why don’t you mull things over, figure out what works for YOU and we’ll reconvene and discuss this later.” But he was intent on having me sit on the phone while he pro- and con-ned his way to I don’t know what kind of a resolution. Finally I begged off and said "I just got home I need to shower and have dinner, lets talk tomorrow" to which he meekly relied “but I don’t want to let you go…”

Yeah buddy…I had gathered that'

So again I begged off and he let me hang up only after I promised to call him tomorrow.


In thinking about it as I soaked in my tub and trying to put things into perspective, I am pretty sure that he’s not all that well versed at this infidelity thing. We haven’t spoken about it directly but i know he still has a traditional wife at home and he has told me he has 2 almost grown children, a daughter and son that are very close if not exactly my age. I know the daughter is actually starting work on the same advanced degree as I am working on right now so he knows my expenses and he says he understands that I’m just trying to clarify our situation so I can budget accordingly.

My concern is that he is very wrapped up in me…don’t get me wrong he is a LOVELY man. I would not be seeing him otherwise. He is kind and affectionate, very distinguished and handsome for his age and we get on just great. However, I recognize that right now at this point in his life he acknowledges that he is older and at about 30 years plus in his marriage, with almost grown kids and all of their issues, there is clearly some unexpected turmoil going on in his work life and here comes this pretty caramel thing, half his age that is COMPLETELY ROCKING HIS WORLD and COMPLETELY DIFFERENT then anything or anyone he’s experienced in his vanilla life. So I get that he may be alittle excited. My concern is that it’s TOO excited…he tosses around words like OUR RELATIONSHIP instead of OUR ARRANGEMENT or OUR FRIENDSHIP and he means relationship in the traditional sense of the word. He clearly doesn’t want to leave when he actually is here with me and pushes for as much contact as possible when we’re apart…daily calls, texts, long drawn out email messages. Which I don’t generally have a problem with, but with him it is starting to feel like he is falling in this much more than is realistic for the arrangment we have. It is not a serious problem but it does concern me. Especially when he uttered something to the effect of “I had no intention when we met to find myself looking up and realizing that you could be someone I fall in love with”
WHAAAATTTT?

So this morning I’m at the office and a text message comes through bright and early from the CFO at exactly 9:01am:

“Hi call me when u can”

As if it was the very first thing he thought of this morning was to sit down and call me as soon as he arrived at his office.
Not quite obsessive but abit overly engaged nonetheless. I’m starting to think it’s just too heavy for me and I should just step away from the situation. Between his concern over his finances, his attachment to me and neediness, I might just have to let this one go

What do you guys think?

lazy baby...

this week my schedule has been all scrambled up and i haven't met with anyone and haven't made plans to meet. i have even been turning down perfectly decent dinner offers with upfront gift envelopes without even blinking.....bad Sugarbaby Sweetheart!

maybe its because I saw the Sheik on Friday of last week instead of on Monday our usual day. seeing him Mondays is a nice way to start the week because i enjoy him so much and even though I get a monthly allowance from him he always brings me a thoughful gift and some spending cash for the week. Using the spending cash as running around pocket money is great because it helps me budget myself and continue saving. it always inspires me to keep it going for the week

lately, other than the Sheik I really dont feel up to seeing anyone else but i have set some very clear financial goals for myself in the next 3 months and i'm making such good progress I dont want to lose focus. It's not that I dont want to meet --trust me I'm just as frisky as always hehe--it's that i'm just a lazy baby...maybe it's spring fever i dont know.

the Sheik's allowance more than covers all of my monthly expenses...full rent, utilities, cell phone, etc. and a tiny bit left over for incidentals. So technically, i dont HAVE to see anyone else but gosh i'm such a greedy bird.

i just love sitting down on a Sunday and accounting for all my gifts and making responsible plans with the money. I never thought i would find these things so sexy: watching my savings account increase, being able to fully fund my Roth IRA with the max contribution for 2010 by May or listing ALL of my debt and knowing i can pay it all off in full by August if I really hustle. But i do! I find it just all sexy as getting those giftwrapped boxes from net-a-porter or a new pair of juicy red bottom Louboutin pumps...

joining sugardaddy websites...

So I finally took the plunge last week and joined some sugardaddy sites. In the past I have gathered my daddies the old-fashioned way--by stunning them with my beauty in person and exchanging info, and either assenting to their proposal for an arrangement or gently leading them down the path of sugardaddy-dom.

Some gems I even plucked from the dark depths of the dreaded craigslist, cleaned them off, polished them up and let them shine.

Years ago, I had put a profile on www.SugarDaddie.com, I got tons of messages but there is no way to respond without paying for a membership and I wasn't going to do that. I forgot all about it until last week when they sent me a random email and I logged on for the first time in like 3 or 4 years. All the info on my profile needed to be updated badly lol--wrong state of residence, wrong occupation, alot had changed since last I logged on lol. But like I said you can sort of see who is into you but can't send them messages or respond to them on SugarDaddie.com or elsewhere so its pretty pointless unless you get a paid membership so I haven't logged on since.

Next I set up a profile on www.SeekingArrangement.com. I like that it displays sugardaddy budgets and sugarbabe expectations in a very straightforward fashion. I also like that there's a process to "certify" sugardaddies and verify that their income is what they claim. You can also send messages to other users but you're not supposed to exchange contact info (numbers or email addresses) within those messages unless you are a paying member. There is a notice on the site that say all messages are scanned by SeekingArrangement.com staff and if they spot that external contact info in a message you will be banned. Not sure how strict they are about it but I didn't want to test it. Also, whenever you add a pic to your profile it must be approved by them and your whole account goes into "pending" mode. When its pending you can't really do anything because not only is your new pic not posted but you can't respond to any messages left for you. I found approval turnaround time was about a day to a day and a half...pretty long to wait if you're on the prowl.
I've gotten a few hits but reception has been pretty lukewarm on this site

Finally on Sunday I created a profile on www.SugarDaddyForMe.com which I thought would be pretty cheesy given the name but actually found it to be my favorite site so far. As a non-paying user (what they call standard I think), I can't message everyone but here's why that's not a problem on this site-- users who pay for a membership can pay for something called "total access" and that let's them email EVERYONE on the site and receive messages from EVERYONE on the site with no restrictions. non-paying sugarbabies included...

That makes so much sense to me! Because if he's REALLY a sugardaddy this is the membership he would have. He wouldn't expect a sugarbaby to shell out her pennies for a membership to contact him instead he would facilitate the communications. I signed on Sunday afternoon and almost immediately got slammed with tons of messages. Some from regular members with no "total access" which meant I couldn't read their emails (in fact i couldn't even open their email messages --could only see the subject line and username) but also a bunch of emails from "total access" daddies with really specific questions or comments about my profile expectations which showed that they had actually READ my profile information and requests for face to face meets. Looks VERY promising. I'll feel it out for a week or so before scheduling anything.

Another cool part of their setup is that if you get an email from a member with no "total access" and they look interesting, you can send them a "kiss" message asking them to upgrade their membership so you can talk to them. So far there have been 2 guys who contacted me that looked good on paper so I asked them to join with a paid membership so we can chat and they did. I just feel like if they are interested they will join to communicate with you and if they REALLY are sugardaddies then coughing up the measly membership fee for a month won't break them. In fact the fee shouldn't even make them blink.

A third person who I asked to join, sent me the same message, and I sent it back and we were caught up in a little tug of war for about 45min shooting "kiss" messages back and forth:
"you join"
"No, you pay the membership and join"
"You're extremely hot, I have to meet you"
"Contact me!"
"Please upgrade your membership, so we can talk"

LOL! Suffice to say I'm not joining and if 30 bucks a month is an issue for him then he's not the daddy for me and I'll save him the grief lol

Also, daddies can see when you look at their profile.
I like that because you can let them know that you're 'checking them out' but you're not really making the first move and can let them contact you. I just find the interaction more ladylike under these circumstances if I let them initiate contact first.

I mean I am a sugarbabe and I'm quite clear on what my needs are but I'm certainly not or ever will chase after anyone. Its just not my modus operandi. Its not how I do things.

So 3 different sites, 3 very different feedback. On each I posted the exact same profile and the same 2 pics,no changes at all so I don't really get why the reaction is so varied. Maybe the different sites list my profile differently based on whether I am a paid user or I just need to give it time...not quite sure.

Anyone else notice very varied results from the different sugardaddy sites?

What is your favorite or most successful site, why?

Are there any I should join that I haven't?